Planning your wedding can be stressful and time-consuming, and it’s for 1 or 2 years, but marriage is for a lifetime, and challenges will take their course slowly.
For this reason, relationship experts agree that it’s wise to start creating every day habits that keep the two of you close and intertwined through all of life’s obstacles.
You want to have an amazing wedding day, a day that will be in your memories for the rest of your life. So it’s essential to keep your relationship happy and healthy during your wedding planning. If you can continue communicating, and keep a little perspective, you can get through almost any issue.
Here are six ways to keep your relationship strong during wedding planning, because admitting it’s stressful is half the battle.
1. Know that you won’t be different
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is assuming you’ll just breeze through wedding planning. Maybe you’ve watched your friends struggle, and you’ve rolled your eyes with a smug half-smile, assuming you and your partner would never be that way. Instead, accept that it will be tricky. Finding that you don’t agree on everything, feeling the stress—these things don’t make you a bad couple, they’re just side effects of a normal wedding planning process. Accepting this from the beginning means you won’t be blindsided later.
2. Include your partner in the process
We are going to assume that you are the one planning most of the wedding since that is the case for a majority of couples. When you find yourself overwhelmed during the planning process, the best thing to do is talk to your fiancé. He can help calm you down and see things rationally. Communication is key!!
Having someone you can count on for better or for worse is the biggest wedding perk of them all. Also, bringing a problem to your partner will only help you solve it faster.
3. Agree on finances upfront.
Finances are, without the doubt, the biggest reason why couples fight during the wedding planning process. You should always discuss your individual financial situations and establish a realistic budget. This way, you won’t rack any debt, and you will be stress-free. You definitely don’t want your celebration of a lifetime to prevent you from reaching future goals, like buying a house.
4. Express gratitude
Another habit that easily slips through the cracks when you’re schedules are overloaded is the simple phrases and expressions of gratitude. If you’re marrying this person, chances are, you’re thankful that he or she is in your life. But when was the last time you told them that? “The appreciation can be specific or general, but telling your partner something you appreciate about them each day can lead to feeling appreciated, positive feelings, and can foster connection,” explains Dr. Needle.
5. Stop Aiming for Perfection
This is essential advice for every aspect of your wedding planning: remember it’s not going to be perfect. One of the ways you can lose perspective is if you become obsessed with everything being just so. It can drive you and your partner up a wall. Remind each other that things will go wrong and that it won’t matter in the long run.
6. Focus on What Really Counts
Finally, no matter how stressful wedding planning is, remember what this day is really about: the two of you. It’s not about having the perfect table centerpieces or the ultimate bridesmaid dresses for Instagram. It’s about the two of you acknowledging how far you’ve come and being able to start the next phase of your life together. Let the rest of it be white noise. If you feel it getting on top of you, try a nostalgic evening when you remember your first date or your engagement—a simpler, pre-wedding planning time. If you keep the two of you in focus, the stress won’t seem as important.
Planning a wedding is virtually never smooth-sailing, but it also doesn’t need to have a significant impact on your relationship. There will be bumps in the road, but if you keep approaching things as a team, you’ll be able to tackle them together and keep your sanity intact.