When life gets busy, daily tasks get in the way of intimacy. When work, chores, and child-rearing are the top priority, cultivating intimacy is probably the last thing on your mind. And if you try to connect with your partner and don’t get the response you hoped for, you likely hesitate to try again.
The reality is, successfully cultivating daily moments of intimate connection results in a profoundly fulfilling marriage by:
- Keeping the romance alive
- Helping both individuals feel understood, connected, cherished, and loved
- Having each other’s backs and knowing you’re on the same team
- Reducing conflict and misunderstanding
- Increasing sexual satisfaction
- Creating an overall sense of well-being
- Increasing each partner’s self-esteem and self-worth
Cultivating intimacy also reduces the chances of cheating and divorce. And ultimately, intimacy is essential to a happy and healthy marriage.
*Why Intimacy is Essential, from The Good Men Project
You can read my post about the “7 Signs that you’re ready to marriage”.
Today I share with you 5 Powerful Secrets to be more Intimate with your Partner
#1 Let go of expectations
You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. These thoughts will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in specific ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else. Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.
#2 Argue to understand, not to win
When you don’t agree with what your partner is saying or doing, don’t judge them or make them wrong. Try to listen openly by finding the grains of truth and let different perspectives exist.
#3 Be complete people as individuals
The quality of relationships comes from two healthy, happy individuals coming together. Not from two broken individuals relying on each other for happiness.
You can’t be happy with somebody else until you’re happy with yourself. You can ask for your partner’s support when you’re upset, but being married is about joining two lives together, not giving up one. Being satisfied in your skin means you won’t be looking to your partner to fill voids in your life. Read more about “7 Signs that you’re ready to marriage”.
#4 Focus on giving love
Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us only. It’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply. Ask “How was your day?” or say, “You’re beautiful today”. Ask what your partner wants for dinner or ask for help and cook together. Give a lot of hugs. Kiss your partner anytime. Tell how you love your partner more than he thinks you should.
#5 Be Fully present
You shouldn’t be constantly worried about your things when you’re with your partner. Try to focus your attention at the moment and being present as much as possible. Share your thoughts and ask for an opinion. Trying to be fully present as much as possible will deepens your connection.